Sex is a basic experience for us. As humans, we are sexual beings and we have been doing this since the dawn of man. However, sex isn’t exactly simple, especially for women. Being that we women have not been in control, we haven’t really studied the experience of women and sex a lot in our history.
The beginning of the difficulties and complexity is the anatomy of women. Sure, most of us know that orgasms begin with stimulation of the vagina and specifically the clitoris. But, it’s a fact that researchers are still debating the anatomy of the clitoris!
An Anatomy Lesson
The clitoris is found right beneath where the two labia meet at the top of the vagina and it is made up of the small bundle of nerves that are extremely sensitive. That’s the part that we see and that’s the part we all think of. But the clitoris goes on internally in two shafts that go on both side of the vagina.
The vaginal canal leads back to the cervix, which is the passageway that leads to the uterus. This is the portion of the body that opens to allow a baby to be born out from the uterus, through the vaginal canal and out into the world. This canal is made of stretching muscle that is covered by mucous membrane.
How Orgasms Work
Now, most women know that getting an orgasm is a wonderful experience. But not everyone comes by an orgasm in the same manner. It may be more difficult for some women than for others. But the “biology” of an orgasm is the same.
- When a woman is sexually aroused, the heart beat quickens and breathing becomes faster and a little more intense. The skin will begin to look and feel flushed. Several muscles in the body will become tight and the breasts increase in size a little and the nipples stand up straighter. The vagina also will swell a little with the increased blood flow.
- She will begin to make more lubrication in the vagina, which makes sex a lot more enjoyable and reduces friction. (don’t worry, if you happen to not make a lot of lubrication, you can always use some lube)
- The labia will open up and become flatter and the vagina actually lengthens and becomes wider and the pelvic area will become engorged from the blood flow, making for a warm and nice sensation in the area.
- A potent chemical cocktail is being made in the brain that includes dopamine, which is the feel good hormone. You are also releasing a lot of oxygen and the hippocampus and the amygdala experience increased activity. It may show then, that it’s really important for women to feel aroused, relaxed and safe in order to achieve an orgasm.
- As a woman continues to be aroused, things become even more enlarged and more pronounced. However, the clitoris becomes 50 shorter right before climax.
- As she orgasms, blood preasure, breahing rates, and heart rate go up and all the muscles in the body start to contract.
- Rythmic contractions that occur about every second will be felt in the vagina, uterus and in the anus. When an orgasm is mild, it will pulse about 3 or 5 times, but an intense orgasm can lead up to 15 pulses.
- After these contractions, everything relaxes, giving that amazing feeling of release.
- With continued stimulation and arousal, a woman can even experience a second or even third round of orgasms.
The Difficulty of Achieving an Orgasm
Not all women experience orgasms with every sexual encounter. In fact, there are some women who have never experienced an orgasm at all, in spite of having had sexual encounters regularly. The reasons are varied, but one of the major reasons is that simple penetration may not be anough for women to achieve an orgasms.
That’s because it’s important to stimulate the clitoris, which is not always possible with penetration. It’s important for women to be relaxed and comfortable and to have conversations that are open and honest with their partners about what can do to make their orgasms occur.
There is more information available these days for women and conversations about sex are more free and open. Educate yourself and your partner so that you can both experience amazing sex.